Friday, May 30, 2008

Im Sucking On These Right Now!



I did another google search test. This time I searched "tit". Some boring results, number one was the Janet Jackson Superbowl Nipple Slip and a lot of birds filling out the rest of the page. But down a few rows where these showstoppers. Since I pulled this image up about 10 minutes ago, I can think about anything else. They are just heavenly hooters. My gawd I want to plow those fucking things. Jeeez.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

is Fergie lame?

Yes.

Why? Because she has a new five-song album on itunes that sells for eight dollars and the only single that you will be buying it for is Barracuda. That song is a remake of Heart's 1977 hit of the same name.

Fergie is lame because her cover sounds exactly like the original. Whatever.

The only thing lamer is Mushroom Records scandal that shocked the music industry when they tried to start a rumor that Ann and Nancy Wilson were not only sisters but lesbian lovers as well.

Fergie's lyrics in her recent hit Clumsy are no better. While the beat is sharp from the looks of her video she's clearly marketed towards adolescent girls who haven't had their period yet. Fergie is just whoring herself out.

I found this image on Wikipedia so the original girls could have the last word. As you can see they are still in action.



If you're looking for hot babes in pop music here's a new one for you. While you might be thinking I'm posting the Eric Prydz remix of "Call on Me" I'm actually taking it a step further. This is an actual workout tape done with the same cast from the video. Jane Fonda never knew what hit her.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

kiddie pool


Back in college when I used to ride bikes a lot more than I do now we used to do a lot of afternoon rides after class. On one steaming hot day in the late fall a buddy of mine and me were waiting at a light sweating our asses off as a black car made a left hand turn in front of us. The car was a late model Camero that had seen better days, it had rusted doors, a torn dash and completely fit into the side of town we were passing through.

This was the side of town typical to the Midwest where frequent tire squeals can be heard at about every gas station because people are out causing trouble after years of being down on their luck. There was always a lot of rough trade on this side of town that you didn't want to mess with.

Inside the car there were two teenage guys and in between them a girl who was probably thirteen or fourteen. She was definitely younger than the guys she was riding with. She had long, unwashed blonde hair and fair light skin. She was definitely underage but looked pretty interesting to me and my riding buddy. He and I were still nineteen or so making it not too bad for us to be staring at such an illegal piece of ass. But we were bike geeks on the wrong side of town and we stuck out in our lycra gear.

All of a sudden in an impulse this chick took one look at us and clearly mouthed the words, "fuck me" to us.

The car's exhaust rumbled as it sped away and black soot hung in the air. As soon as they were gone my buddy turned to me and said, "did you see that?" Her quick little impulse had taken us both by surprise and brought us up straight -- even in our bike shorts. This mysterious trailer trash girl had a look on her face like she was looking for trouble because she was probably living in a trailer park and got no attention or love from her parents. Maybe she was on her way to smoke cigarettes and drink with these guys before she let them take turns pounding away at her in their parent's bedroom. She's probably in some strip club now or on welfare with three kids. Hopefully the Girls Next Door losers never got to her.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Good Bye J-Lo, Hello Lola!



I was standing around in the pharmacy waiting for my Viagra refill and getting bored. So I wandered over to the magazine rack. Right there like an evil angel from some ass palace in the sky was a copy of King. And gracing the cover of this urban mag was the rump queen of our time "Angel Lola Luv". Put down that Pirate Treasure and say hello to some serious booty! Head over "The Flesh Circus" for a much larger collection of photos!

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Don't Titty Fuck Susan Sarandon With One Hand


I was passing on some sage titty fucking advice to a friend at work. The one handed method was a mystery to my buddy, so I thought I could help him out with a little boob fuck wisdom. If you have ever tried to to boob fuck a chic with tiny tits, you know how hard it can be to try and get some cleavage together to form some fuckable flesh. So, back in high school I started tit fucking girls with small tits with one hand, I basically fuck one tit at a time. You lay your dick across the top of her tit, right on the nipple and then take a free hand and clamp it down from the top. It's like your grabbing her tit, but your dick is trapped in between. Its great, you can fuck both tits and really work her nipples over while your at it. Well, a few days later my buddy tells me he tried the one handed method and he wasn't that impressed. I thought thats cool, to each his own. But then, I went out with my buddy and his girlfriend. Shit, that girl is stacked like Susan Sarandon. Big Wide Knockers that have a nice hang to them. First off dude, you cannot tackle Earl Campbell with one arm, and you cannot titty fuck Susan Sarandon with one hand.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Googles Top 5 Asses!

Ok, here is the drill. Search a word on Google images and see what shows up. You will be surprised, shocked and occasionally thrilled. Here is Googles top 5 for "ass".

Coming in at number 5, the most artistic of the images comes from wikipedia ass page!



At number 4 we have this hard ass. Make all the dude jokes you want, but you know she can give a mean hand job with those guns!



Our 3rd place ass is this little minx. She is some sort of small tit, hot ass porn wannabe. Her ass is where my cock wannabees.


Runner up number 2 ass is this custom exhaust pipe this dude rigged up to his rice rocket. I wonder if the tits match the size if that rump. Get it girl!



And our number one google ass image is this fine heart shaped wonder. Looks like an adult industry convention and she must be signing her rotten panties for these goofballs. I do like the goatee dude that is catching on to the fact that the photographer might be a bigger perv then he is. And check out count drunklula on the far left, looks like he fell out of a coffin.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Passed Out Tit Fuck In The Park.


I got this photo emailed to me as part of list of drunks that all passed out in public.
At the bottom of the list was this photos of this chick with huge knockers! If I was walking through the park and eyeballed these love balloons, I would have to fondle them for a moment. If I had 2 minutes to spare I would jam them into my face and see how much I could get into my mouth! And if I had 5 minutes I would drop my drawers and titty fuck those amazing globes from the front! Not from the side! These are big enough to go head-on and try and bury it into chest her. Wow.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

My Cock Is Huge! In The Right Hand?


We have this really thin girl here at work. She is cute, not pretty. Maybe 5' 3" or so. Not so thin that you see bones right away. But she is a little women. Straight hair to shoulder length. Her tits are big enough to fill a small bra size, so she is not totally a flat plains girl. Nice shaped ass, most skinny girls have none. So of course you cant help but think your cock is going to look huge in her little hands. Like a bug stuck on a pin... you can fantasize like your some cock god plowing her in half with every thrust. I have fucked skinny girls before, you can pretty much jack off with them. Throw em around a toss up and down on your dick like a blow up doll that has a pussy as hot as fire. I don't know why, but thin girls pussy's are always like 20 degrees hotter. So to make this even better, ill jerk off later and fantasize that she has a twin. It takes both of those little hands to jerk me off!

I fucked Courtney Love At Subway


The local subway is a dive, but its the closest one to my home, AND a minx works the counter. Shes blond and has some piercings, she is a lot younger then me. When closing time gets near, she will crank up some old school punk from the back room and some of her goth/punk friends will be hanging around. She reminds me of a young, short, Courtney Love. I haven't fantasiesed about her full on yet. But, I would love to fuck her... right in the back room of subway. I wonder if I could get a meatball tea bagging to go?

Monday, May 12, 2008

White Trash Wandering The Streets


Today as I was driving him from work, I watched a tatted up wife beater wearing white trash dad. He had a little girl clinging to him in one arm and a firm grip on brown bagged bottle of some sort. He was crossing traffic with the girl and some booze. Crazy People.