the other day I was spinning around town when this car whizzed by me at mach 10. it came really close and it almost hit me. I was so pissed, why don't cars share the road? it happens everywhere and no matter what city officials do to lend the little guy a bone cars will never respect bikes or commuters who ride bikes instead of killing the planet by the mile.
this was one of those rare times when I actually caught up to the car that had passed me so closely when it was stopped by a red light. as I approached the next red light I was ready to throw my waterbottle threw their f*cking windshield and was really meaning to do it so I sprinted ahead and got ready to unleash some hell on this shithead.just as I was lining up the car with my best fastball I noticed the car's windows were down and long brown hair wearing big sunglasses were in the driver's seat. it was a f*cking woman driver which made even more sense. the light was still red so I thought I'd have time to throw in a few mean words along with my bottle throw and then I even thought it would be better to actually spray the driver through her open window instead.
but then she took off her sunnies and at once I noticed this chick was one hot babe. the light was still red so I changed my mind again, I put my bottle back in its cage and pulled out my camera. my angle was perfect for some peeping tom shots of her and she would never see me. she checked herself in her rear-view mirror and teased her hair. the jackpot was the blouse she was wearing. smoking hot boobs were bulging from her shirt and I could almost see her nipples. she was amazing. I wanted to touch her, to say something. I couldn't get enough and was lucky to grab a few pics of her cleavage.
I almost said something to her before the light turned green, but when it changed she sped off leaving me sitting by myself in the wake of her dust. I went on with my ride, it was a short one because I was taking it easy trying to cool down after a hard race I had done the day before. I tooled through some neighborhoods then headed back the way I came. riding along the same street I had gone down I saw her car again. this time it was parked and she was doing a little window shopping.now I was a total voyeur. the temptation to grab a few more snapshots really was setting in so I rode slowly around the block and grabbed a photo or two. my camera doesn't have much of a zoom, but I think the ones I got of her did the trick - I was so nervous and turned-on it was hard to hold the camera steady.
taking shots on the street of woman can be hard. its best to just go up and ask them. gary winnogrand did it best. he even published a famous hardcover coffee-table photo book about it. he even titled it, "Women." that mother f*cker was bad ass. king of the street pin-up.
I didn't have the balls to ask this chick for a little candid camera, instead I tried my best hidden camera while still riding slow on the bike. one drive by lead to another, then another until I was afraid she couldn't help but notice me and I think she started to get suspicious. on my fourth pass I took a pic and I'm sure she saw me in the reflection of a store window.
dammit! I was busted because she totally spun around and looked straight into my sunglasses. I panicked and almost started to sprint away. as I started to power away I realized that when she had turned her face wasn't one of anger but it actually looked like she had smiled a little.
so I doubled back and coyly rolled by on the opposite side of the street. I tried to keep it cool but I also was looking over my shoulder at her. instead of scowling at me it looked like she was trying to pose for me. what was she thinking? was she digging her new found stalker? I pedaled up close onto the sidewalk and she gave me the perfect model pose without a care.
now I was in business. things had just gotten interesting so I doubled back again to talk to her. just as I was rolling up a door opened and a guy walked out. he walked right up to her and took her by the hand. she stood up on her tip-toes and gave him a deep kiss right on the lips. then they turned and walked away to her car. he took the keys and she got in the passenger seat. I stopped, completely devastated - absolutely cock blocked by her boyfriend. I guess its a good thing because the battery was running low and that would have been a bummer.
the dude started her car and gave it a serious rev that sucker punched me in the balls. son of a bitch. then at that instant her hair blew out the window again and she stuck her head out and looked at me. it was a super flirty look like she was sorry that our photo shoot had suddenly been canceled. but her look was also enough to give me a boner right in my biker shorts. then he hit the gas and peeled away from the curb. it sucks because she didn't have a license plate. but never did I feel so sexy wearing lycra.
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